Tumbling ... and pre-ballet

Johnny's dear love Elizabeth has her first tumbling and pre-ballet class tomorrow, and we're going to watch. I think that tumbling will be brilliant for Johnny and help him to focus some of his abundant energy. FIL has even agreed to pay.

The catch? DH is scared off by the "pre-ballet" moniker. I mean seriously, they're 18 months old! They're going to stand on one leg, turn around and bend their knees. DH would rather I drive 30 miles to a "pure" tumbling class.

They're always learning; even in the midst of a tantrum (or three)

We're dealing with monster molars right now. That's right, tooth number seven is a molar. Combine monster molars with terrible twos (I have mentioned he's a precocious little twerp) and that spells monster menace.

Today in the grocery super-mega-mart he was being chauffeured around by his nearly 90-yr old Ouma while I whizzed around getting the groceries. When they caught me up, he didn't want to be in the push chair anymore. Fine, into the trolley, except when he started climbing out of the trolley, it was time to go back into the push chair, and that was a Big Problem. We had crawling away, we had unpacking saltine crackers, and then we had manhandling and a lot of yelling. (Though not by me.) I just uttered my mantra: "Sit down, Johnny..."

This happened three times: in the baking isle, at the check-out, and in the car. "Sit down, Johnny. Gentle touches with Mommy, Johnny." (As I retrieved my glasses off the floor.) "We don't hit Mommy, Johnny." I must say, I felt like a bit of an idiot, responding to beatings and yelling and an arched back with poise, grace, a firm but gentle restraint, and a calm explanation that we use gentle touches on people.

At bedtime I got the validation I needed for this seemingly idiotic tactic. As he lay there going over his new skills (including a solidifying of two-word sentences and I think a near launch of telegraphic sentences), he started chanting: " Sit -- down. Sit -- down. Sit -- down." And grinning from ear to ear. In the midst of the chaos and screaming and arched back, he learned something. I'm glad what he learned was not how to lose your temper.

Parenting according to personality traits

I've been pondering lately over parenting from in front or behind. The black rhino has its calf walking behind, whereas the white rhino's calf is always in front, so nature does not prefer a particular approach. I think by default we've been parenting Johnny from behind: reverse-cycle breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-led weaning, casual potty training... it's all stuff we've fallen into because it fits him, and the path of least resistance fits us.

Taking the lead in parenting can lead to no end of power struggles, tearing your hair out and tears for all before bedtime, unless you know in advance how your child will respond to your direction. We have an old '80s child development book and it has an interesting table on enduring personality traits. I've already typed it all out once, over here. To sum up, Johnny is:

1. Activity level: High (e.g. always runs, never sits still)
2. Rhymicity: Irregular (e.g. wakes at different time every day, never eats the same amount)
3. Distractibility: Distractible (e.g. tantrums can be interrupted)
4. Approach/withdrawal: Positive (e.g. takes to new things)
5. Adaptability: Adaptive (e.g. handles changes in routine well)
6. Attention span and persistence: Long (e.g. will read the same book all the way to school)
7. Intensity of Reaction: Mild (e.g. doesn't lose it when someone steals his toys)
8. Threshold of responsiveness: High (e.g. doesn't care if he has a wet nappy)

Trying to Gina Ford Johnny onto a schedule would lead to perpetual misery, but knowing his personality traits has helped us to get him mostly potty trained by 18 months. We picked an approach that suited all of us, and he loves being seemingly in charge, shouting "Wee wee!" and running for the loo with Mommy doing his bidding.